Why I Will Keep Coming Back To PyCon India.
I have been coming to PyCon India for two years now. Not much time, but enough for me realize why I would keep coming back.
It was the evening of October 5th, 2018. The workshops for PyCon were wrapping up and there were many people, just talking, discussing, having fun. Nobody in the room knew me. I knew no one except for a guy who I met in PyCon last year. He didn’t remember me. Why would he, I was a nobody.
Then, this feeling of ‘not belonging’ hit me. I probably have nothing much to say to any of the people here, I thought to myself. But then, I saw that one guy I knew from last year PyCon and I forced myself to go and say hi.
I tapped on his shoulder and introduced myself. He literally had no clue about who I am and what I want. I didn’t want anything. I haven’t planned this far. I never come this far. Usually, I just play many versions of it in my head and walk away.
I could barely talk to him. I stumbled and fumbled and had awkward silences and then, I left. That was really awkward. But it was unlike other times. This time, I didn’t feel like sinking into a hole and dying. I felt okay. That doing it was somehow okay.
Hmm. Something different happened.
Then, during the span of the conference, I realized that I don’t understand half the things they are talking about here. All have these big fancy contributions to the open source projects and then there was I, who didn’t even have one accepted PR. Most of the people had cool jobs and were earning way more than me (at least it looked like it).
Things were really intimidating. But somehow, it was okay to not know stuff. It was okay if I didn’t know things. The people weren’t looking at me like I was dumb. They explained me things. I didn’t see judgement in their eyes. Although I felt guilty, that they think I was actually smart to understand all that.
It was the annual #dgplug meet. People were calling out their IRC names so that others can recognize them. I wasn’t much active on IRC. I really thought I would be brushed aside like ‘oh you’re sigmapie8. okay’. But when I saw their faces as I called out my IRC username, those weren’t uninterested faces.
I won’t ever forget those astonished faces. Some of them even came up to talk after the meet. Incredible people.
Lastly, it was dev sprints. I remember my first dev sprints. I didn’t find a single interesting project. So I did nothing in last dev sprints except for bouncing from one mentor to another, and leaving early.
This time, securedrop was interesting. I was sceptic if I could even comprehend where to start. The documentation was quite easy, out mentor — Kushal, explained things well. I was able to setup the environment even. Something I wasn’t able to do before.
So why do I come to PyCon?
I can be my awkward self here. I might not learn a great deal of tech. But believe it or not, I get a great deal of perspective. Perspective about life and also meet a lot of cool people. Somehow, between these chaotic two days, I grow.
How?
I was rushing to attend a talk. I saw a guy looking at me. He looked confused or shy or both. I went to him, and asked about if it was his first PyCon. It wasn’t. We shared an awkward conversation. But this time, I was on the other side.
